Overboard!

Have you ever got angry with yourself for carrying around things from your past; failures, guilt, regret, frustrations or fears? Some of those might be things you’re dealing with today. You wake up one morning and realize the bag of guilt-ridden bricks you’ve been hauling over your shoulder for years is beginning to cut into your flesh…leaving even more wounds.

For some of us, I suppose, the bag of guilt is our comfort. It’s all we know. It is our identity. Who would we be without it?

A few years ago Pastor Tom taught out of Acts 27 “The Shipwreck”. The ship that Paul is on inherits some trouble at sea. The crew, in their fear, made a couple poor decisions and the ship ended up in an even more compromising situation. They eventually stopped trying and gave in to the strong winds. Difficulties caused them to give up.

Jumping quite ahead here the storm continued to rage so they dropped several anchors and just waited and hoped for the best. They would come to find land one morning, a coastline that could be seen from the ship. The only way to get there would be to get rid of the anchors. They certainly wanted out of the storm and off that ship! In verse 40 it says, “So they cut off the anchors and left them in the sea.” I remember Pastor Tom saying along with this verse “release what bonds you”.

I have anchored myself for years over past failures, only to add more anchors for present failures. But it gets me nowhere, literally! If I’m trapped and stagnant because I choose to harbor and hold onto the past then I am not living fully the life God intended me to live.

Daily I have to choose to let go. It’s a flesh battle! I don’t want anchors holding me back. I want freedom to live in Christ. I want freedom to live for Christ and not myself.

So friends, do you have a bag of bricks to drop off the side of a mountain? How about anchors that need to be cut? It comes down to faith. Anchoring ourselves down says to God we don’t trust Him. Do you trust Him?

Update...

Kimball is out of surgery and is doing good!

Let me first give the Doctor Details... They found massive vasculitis. All major native cells are clogged, this is where all his pain is coming from. But the vessels they harvested 3 years ago during his quintuple by pass, 3 of those have excellent blood flow. So that is fairly good news. The bad news is, they couldn't do anything for him today.

The good news is they do not feel the condition of his heart at this time puts him at risk for another heart attack. The docs will have him on Nitro for his vessels and pain management. They suggested doing another Angiogram down the road. Kimball still has pneumonia, his lungs are still full but not getting worse - that is very good!

We will work on getting him healthy to preach his last sermon at First Baptist on September 30th. He then retires and will move down to Southern Oregon to be with us and the rest of the family. He will likely continue on in ministry. That is his passion - he could never retire from doing the work of the Lord! I guess the Lord has much more work to do through Kimball - for that we are so incredibly grateful; for us personally and for the Kingdom!

We are also grateful to all of you for your prayers and concern! You know how I feel about you all, or "y'all", beings most of you are Southern Gals! I wish I could personally thank each of you for your outpouring of prayer and concern...I love you all!

Psalm 33: 20-22 "We put our hope in the Lord. He is our help and our shield. In Him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name. Let your unfailing love surround us, Lord, for our hope is in you alone." Praise the Lord!

What a day!

Kimball, my father in law, is having surgery first thing in the morning. He should be in recovery by 8:30 a.m. I do not know how soon after I will be able to post - but I will try to asap.

I saw him last on Friday. He looked terrible to be perfectly honest. Very gray and yellow in color - lifeless. Today I walked in his room and he was pink! It was the most beautiful shade of pink I have ever seen! And it was on him!

I think I should share with you all very quickly here why Kimball means so much to me. My real father (whom I refer to as sperm donor - just being honest) left when I was 3. It's a much longer story than that - but for sanities sake that's all I'll say. There were other "father figures" in my childhood that were extremely abusive. I never had a positive male figure in my life. Then all in one year, at age 19, I met the most amazing 3 male figures - The Lord, my husband and my precious Kimball. The Lord is my Father - Brent is the father for my children I always wanted and dreamed of, Kimball is the picture perfect dad I longed for my whole entire life! He is my dad! And no one can tell me any different! He is a man of integrity, class, compassion, respect, godliness, discernment, wisdom, knowledge, gentleness and love. He has always considered me his own and has treated me, from the very beginning, like his special little girl. And I love him as my own dad... Sorry, that wasn't quick...

As Kimball heads in to heart surgery this verse comes to mind. It's actually out of our favorite Psalm....Psalm 73:26 "My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart, he is mine forever."

God is our hope!

Lets Get Serious

So I have been frequenting Friendly Christians Blog. He used to be "From His Pen" and had very good reason and cause to change his title. He explains it here. Anyways...Since Friendly Christian started this week it has received quite a bit attention! I mean A LOT! The Friendly Atheists Blog inspired Bill to start FC. So you probably get a good idea just from that what it's about.

But I encourage you to go check it out...really! It has raised so many different emotions and feelings in me as I read comment after comment on questions like, "Does the word "Christian" make your stomach turn?" Much of the comments are heart breaking, confusing, thought provoking, and very convicting. I think it's great to look, think and go outside our bubbles and see into the thoughts of those who want nothing to do with our bubbles! Please take time to visit FC...Tell me, and Bill, what you think...

Distracted? Ooooo, look at the bird!

Have you ever felt like God is miles out there and out of reach? I’ve heard it said often, “I feel like God is so far away”. I’ve learned what causes at least me to feel that way…I get too distracted.

Let’s face it, there will always be distractions. Ourselves, impressions we make, or don’t make, our appearance, accomplishments, possessions and failures just to name a few. Then others and their appearance, accomplishments, possessions and failures can also be a distraction. I’ve been diverted by all of these and more. I get frustrated when I realize how distracted I’ve truly become. So I’ll find myself feeling required to lock myself in a room to pray and regain my ground.

I sit and begin the “effort”. Before long I am quickly distracted, usually by a child or a ringing phone. I feel a combination of irritation and relief as I tend to the matter. Then I find my way back and begin again. I say, “Lord, I’m back”, and then it hits me like a ton of bricks… “I feel like God is so far away?!” I laugh as I repeat myself once again…”I’M back!” I pick myself up off the floor after being pelted by this revelation that God isn’t far away, He hasn’t gone anywhere! It’s me who’s been doing the running, entertaining all my distractions and even sometimes hiding.

Can an Omni-present God ever leave? How far away can He really be? Could it possibly be me, a mere mortal who loves and accepts upon condition, who is very self focused by nature, is it me who is so far away? Yet God is so patient to wait for me. Psalm 46:10 says “Be still and know that I am God”. Often times it takes a crisis for me to be still. How sad that God isn’t the only tenant of my heart. How sad that I allow the temporal to override the Eternal. And yet He stays, does not move, does not change. He patiently waits for me to jump my biggest obstacle, not distractions, but myself.

Keeping it real

My man wrote a post today that really got to me! He quoted something from a book he is currently reading by Irwin McManus. It says, "God formed us in his image and then breathed life into us. God's life in us is sustained by character. When we lose the character of God, we lose the life of God in us. But to have his character, we must first die to ourselves, because to become like Him is what it means to really live."

Wow..."When we lose the character of God, we lose the life of God in us". Let that twirl in your mind for a bit. What do you think about that? How does that affect you?

It reminded me of a poem from Marianne Williamson. Now I know she is a New Age-y gal but this particular writing from her has so many truths that I wanted to share it with you all...

Our Deepest Fear

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, “Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?” Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we’re liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

So how does this speak to you?

Deep Thoughts - At least for me...

So I just picked up a book today by Bill Myers titled Eli. I was at the bookstore with my husband who has become an avid reader. He is reading 10 books in 10 weeks. He's blogging about his adventure along the way - cool stuff. I was just browsing behind him when a cool shade of green caught my attention...I pulled the book off the shelf and read this on the cover... "What if Jesus had not come until today? Who would follow Him? Who would kill him?" I had to get it! I can't get those questions off my mind. It's hard to even think about them. OK - so I've just sat here for about 3 1/2 minutes staring blankly at the screen trying to offer some sort of weak, at best, answer but I can't! First of all - to put my mind in the mode of not having had Jesus already and to be introduced to a Saviour for the first time in this world today - yah, see, that thought didn't even make sense! How about this - How would YOU answer those questions? I can't wait to read this book!

A Front Porch View

We had an incredible Thunder Storm last night here in the Valley! Lightning strikes so fast and furious that when Brent was attempting to photograph them he would miss them by a fraction and as the camera was processing another awesome wonder of God would shoot down from the sky! Which made me think of a verse...

Job 36:32 "He fills his hands with lightning bolts and hurls each at its target."

Some things I can't even wrap my head around...