Boycotting Painting and Twila Paris

I used to really love painting the insides of our homes. It was always the cheapest upgrade. In fact, Brent and I painted the interior of one of our homes so many times we joked that we were losing square footage as the walls were closing in on us!

This week we have been painting my in-laws house, which is near us, getting ready for their arrival in October. My father in law is retiring from the Senior Pastor position at First Baptist Church in Eugene, Oregon. They have purchased a home here and are slowly remodeling it. So the fam and I have spent the last 4 days painting away. I haven't painted quite like this since I was diagnosed with Lupus a couple years ago. After holding a paint brush for an hour I couldn't straighten out my poor little knuckles for at least another hour... I wasn't very fast or effective I'm afraid.

Anyway...in the midst of our painting monotony I found my thoughts sitting idly on worthless things. Like, worry. That was a big one for me this week. Maybe partly because I had gone without my hormones for 6 days and I was a little..."blue", but I hid it well - I hope! Oh my goodness - Lupus and taking Hormones - I sound old!!!

Back to the point of all of this. The only Christian music station we could get on the stereo was our local station. In their attempts to please the whole wide range of their listening audience they played every single style of music out there. Hillbilly, opera, country, blues ( very into that this week ) disco, good ole hymns, some modern worship stuff and of course...your traditional contemporary! A lot of that! I heard my fair share of Michael W. Smith and Twila Paris. Enough to last, well, everyone's lifetime! As the 38th Twila Paris song began this afternoon I found myself painting shot guns and guillotines on the wall. I have no opinions on music. Then I started listening to the words of "God is In Control". I know every one of you just sang that melodious title in your head, didn't you??!! Well I can't get it out of mine, thank you very much! But...I'm rather glad about it. She, Twila (we're tight now), kept saying over and over "Why do you worry?, God is in control". Shut up Twila, I'm sulking here! Then I realized, God was actually trying to get my attention here. I mean really, why else would a station play 38 Twila songs if there wasn't some divine intervention going on? That's not really a question...

Normally I don't stew over things or dwell on situations that are way out of my control. Hmmm, maybe I'm wanting to control our situation because I think that God doesn't have control of it. Is it estrogen related? Or lack thereof? When has He not provided for any of us? Are any of us living in poverty? Likely not, we're reading each others blogs on our spendy computers. What is wrong with me? Deep down I know - it's a trust issue. Faith issue. But if I know that - then why is it too often a struggle? Ok, I know that too. Eeewww - I'm just unwilling to believe Him aren't I? What I need is 3 more solid days of hormone therapy.

I feel better just writing it out actually.... Thanks guys! But honestly, who here deals with the same thing from time to time?